Brotherhood of Bald People

[RockNRollDog]

Hi, I'm a Sensitive 23 year old man who has experienced a significant amount of hair loss. On The baldness chart i am probably already at a level 5. i can see already that i am going to be a perfect case of the horseshoe pattern of baldness. Most people don't know this because i have been wearing a hat for the past 3 years when it started at the age of 20. 3 Years and i am almost a complete skin head. I don't know how i could lose this much hair at such a young age. Sometimes i feel the top of my head burning like it is falling out. There is not a day that goes buy that i don't think about it and just want to cry. I am also single and don't think that i will find a good wife because she will think i am a weirdo or something when she see's my horseshoe head.

I have gone through so many stages over the 3 years. Denial... thinking that its not that bad and it will never happen to me, not accepting it. Frustration.... why won't it grow back? I am using the rogain :S To laughing about it with friends... but i found it made it worse. Then i got really depressed this year, even suicidal. I used to think whats the point of living, no girl is going to want me now, i used to be a pickerel now i'm just a jack.

I'm not like that anymore i just need some answers and I need to know how you guys dealt with losing your hair and if anybody else out there has had such and extreme case like mine at such a young age.

[Rickenbacker]

First of all, if you are feeling pain up there, see a doctor. Life's too short to deal with hurt!

As for the baldness...my opinion, this is a unique time in social history. Like no other period I know of, baldness is not the stigma it once was. Twenty years ago, shaving your head was pretty "out there". Now? Perfectly acceptable.

If you aren't up to shaving your head, the next step is working on the person who lives in the head! We all have insecurities of some kind. Some deal with it better than others. You can't let your feelings about hair loss dictate how you live. You seem to be a very intelligent young man. That's a great quality in itself. Let the world see you are a strong, intelligent person, and the baldness will be just a side note. And, if you still have suicidal thoughts, please, seek some help. Don't try to go through that alone.

I know I probably am oversimplifying things...and rambling! I tend to do that. I'm sure if you check back, you'll find some of the other folks here will have some great advice too.
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In memory of our friend, Waliguy

[BulletHead]

Like Rick said, this is one of the best times in human history to shave your head. It is totally accepted by society. If your head is burning, you might have a skin condition that needs treating. See a doctor. Other than that, just relax about it. I went through the whole ordeal of hair loss and believe me I wish I would have shaved sooner. Women love shaved heads because it oozes confidence. If you have a problem getting a date, it's not your head but what's inside it that is stopping you. Women like upbeat, positive and funny guys.
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[rich_g]

As I have been known to say before... "Dude! It's just hair!"

Genetics, diet, environment, stress, illness... all can factor into hair thinning and loss. Your scalp pain / hair loss could be something easily fixed with a doctor's visit, but you don't know if you don't go.

I'll echo Rickenbacker and BulletHead regarding the social, women, and confidence issues. Listen to them. I will add, though, that my cousin started going gray at 15, thinning at 18, was completely gray and had fairly thin hair and very pronounced "widow's peaks" by 22, and got married at 24. He's been married for 21 years. The right woman isn't going to care about your hair (or lack of).

I'd lay off the Rogaine though. I know two guys (and have talked to a few others) that have used Rogaine and they have all said that their hair started falling out a LOT faster when they quit using it. I'm not saying it will happen to you, but take it under consideration.

To answer your question of "how did I deal with losing my hair"... well, my hair is still in the early stages of MPB. I have fairly pronounced "widow's peaks" and the top of my head is thinning, but I know I am destined for baldness because that's just how it goes with the men in my family. I am in the "I shave my head because I enjoy the bald experience" group. All of my hair could fall out and I would be happy because my razor blades would last longer.

As far as cases like yours, look for the early posts from "Morgothaod" and "QazWsx".
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- Rich G.

2010 - The Year Of The Brotherhood !!!

[baldnessgene]

hi hope you are feeling better since you joined i know i do . i know exactly how you felt.about five years ago i started balding and as i'm a very shy person it was a big knock to my confidence and i was checking it all of the time or denying it was happening.but just as i was getting used to it,a few months ago it started going much faster and i have also lost a significant amount of hair. but that has turned out to be a blessing in disguise because i can't hide or ignore it anymore and i have finally after all this time come to totally accept it,and since i have i have noticed that the people around me have accepted my baldness too and stopped any comments they had.now i can't wait for process to end so i can choose between the horseshoe shape or a fully shaved head don,t mind either so though i know it's easier said than done when you do embrace it and are at ease with yourself people will be drawn to you . all the best.

[baldjoeg]

I agree with Rickenbacker, bullethead and Rich G. Hang in there!

For me, being bald is not all that bad. i have come to accept it. I have been shaving my head for 3 years now and really like the look.

Good luck to you.

Joe G.

[Petr]

Hello Rocknrolldog

I am 25 - nearly your age. I started balding at 18 and still am... quite slowly but its more and more visible each year. At first nobody noticed and dint believe me. Doctors told me it is normal at my age. But I knew I was balding and I noticed I am the only one at high school. At uni I was also the only one and I still am the only balding guy among my friends.

It is a big challenge to your confidence I know you cannot help youself having bad self esteem. In 20ties we are still trying to find who we are and this is huge change. It takes time but a) you are a fighter a that doesnt stop you becoming who you want to be b) you give up and turn back to your friends. Its just hair in the end. Believe me it only takes only time. I am (we are) still one of few but in a few years many others will be balding and many will have the same problems as you face today. Try to picture yourself in 7 years when you are 30. Who do you see?

The fact is the girls our age dont like balding guys. But many of them dont mind dating older balding guy and many of them will one day get up next to their ,perfect, boyfriend - with horseshoe on the head:)

Find the source of your confidence somewhere else. When you find it it will stay with you forever! The others of our age are sometimes only confident about their look they have nothing else in their pocket. So ask yourself who do you see in 5 years? Who do you want to be? If you have some answer start working on it, if you are not confident among your friends find new group who doesnt know anything about you and start being like you want them to see you. When you dont like something on yourself change it if it is possible. And maybe youll find your confidence on the way like I did:) Good luck:)

[dperino]

RockNRollDog,

I am sorry this is geting to you the way it is. I agree with all above on the burning--this isn't normal so see a doctor.

OK, as far as your hair thinning. You have to reflect and make some choices. You can wear hats all of the time and that will make you self concious about what you perceive people are thinking. You can research all over this site of all of the foks (I am almost on 2 years now) that have been where you are, and where we are now after the choices we made, and this may help you make a decision on your next step.

Of your choices, suicide is NOT the choice. Understood that in your earlier 20s, there is lots of pressure, but I will tell you the amount of women that love guys with shaved heads freaks me out at times--I would have had no idea there were so many. It is no kidding a normal style now, and gain, women love it as long as you exude confidence.

Take a deep breath and read around this site, and ask as many questions as you need to--the people here are very knowledgeable and wise!

dp
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Come down with fire...lift my spirits higher
Someone screaming my name
Come and make me Holy again
I'm the Man on the Silver Mountain

"Ronnie James Dio (Rainbow)"

[Logan]

That's very good advice Dominic.

RnR- Don't let the loss of your hair rule your life, or worse ruin it.
Nowadays, a very short cut or better yet a shaved head is perceived as a very cool look. It's only hair, give it a try. Ladies go wild over guys with shaved heads. I even influenced a buddy of mine that has a full head of hair to try a headshave. It's been nearly three years and he enjoys the freedom of a no hair cut.

Dom, will your Phillies be playing NY or LA

[dperino]

[rdor]

To the original poster : thank heaven that you weren't balding at 15, because that was the age it happened to me.

[quote="Petr"]

The fact is the girls our age dont like balding guys.

quote]

This is very true, women in their late teens/early 20's are too
focused on faults rather than attributes.

Once you get to your late twenties you'll have a lot of company, so don't worry, that side of life isn't over, just on hold for a while.