Brotherhood of Bald People Worldwide

We found this fun article online today:

When It comes to hair, remember; if you ain't got it, flaunt it! 

By Martin Newlands 

So you’ve finally noticed that either your head is growing at a pace that your hair can not match, or you’re going bald. I’m here to bring you a message of hope. All, is not lost. Well, apart from your hair, that is. But, as I will point out, sometimes bald is better.

Before the good news, an unhealthy dose of realism. You should get used to the fact that the tragic loss of your hair is a constant source of amusement to others. It is one of those bizarre paradoxes with which life head-butts you across the nose from time to time. Although society frowns on the ridiculing of the wobbly and the downright paint-peelingly ugly, it declares open season on baldies.

“He’s losing his hair!” trilled a charming lady, one of the first to out me as a potential chrome-dome. My response? “I can wear a wig. What are you going to do about your face?” Needless to say, my mild – though apt – retort was deemed brutal and my failure to enjoy the obvious humour of my predicament unseemly.

Consider the plethora of rib-tickling names that the Hairy Ones come up with for us: conehead, pankop, Kojak and – my personal favourite – slaphead. I’m not sure where this last charming term of endearment originated, but my money’s on The Benny Hill Show. One of the long-suffering regulars on the show, a perfectly respec-table elderly gent, would be repeatedly slapped on the back of his balding pate whenever he passed the beaming Mr Hill.

Okay, enough reality for a while. Now for the good news.